Too late
by Sunflower Prescott
Summary: We met too soon. We were eleven years old, both a little lost in a train where we didn't know anybody.


Hello welcome here, I hope you'll enjoy my fanfiction but before you start reading I have a little warning for you, I'm French and abolutely not a native English speaker so this fiction may contain some mistakes... I already apologize for it ... I hope you'll still enjoy it !

Rating: T for death  
Characters: James Potter / Sirius Black / mention of Lily Evans  
Pairing: James/Sirius ( one sided love ) and mention of Lily/James  
Disclaimer: Harry Potter books, so Sirius Black and James Potter, are unfortunately not mine, but the writing yes ! 

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We met too soon. We were eleven years old, both a little lost in a train where we didn't know anybody. Sat in the same compartment, we got to know each other really fastly. I prayed for you to be sent in Gryffindor when I got sent there myself, and, when you joined me at the red and gold's table, I knew I'll spend the best years of my life. I took the bed next to yours and since this moment we began the crazy things which would define us for the next years of our lives.

We smoke our first cigaret too soon. We were twelve years old, the smoke fascinated us, you didn't like it at all but I became addicted very fast. We laughed a lot, because we didn't succeed to light it up because of the wind, because we both choked at the first puff, because you had a disgusted face when you took the first drag. You let me finish it, I finished the pack in the week and you mocked me. Then, all the times I wanted to light up, you accompanied me, in our dormitory bathroom, outside, hid under the invisibility cloak, you've saw me slowly burn my lungs every night where I couldn't sleep, and I never knew if it was the nicotine or your presence that appeased me.

We kissed too soon. We were thirteen years old, we were drunk -we did that too soon as well-, and I think we didn't know very well what we were doing. We were having fun, giving each other some challenges and without knowing why, I dared you to kiss me, you blocked a bit but you did it. We looked at each other seriously for some minutes, then, we bursted out laughing before moving on, like if nothing happened.

We made love too soon. We were fourteen years old, I joined you in your bed because I couldn't sleep. I didn't want to smoke, you kissed me to calm me down, like you used to since the previous year, once, twice, tenth, and more our lips entered in contact, more they stayed connected between each other. We didn't really know how we got there, but our bodies ended up linked one against the other, and we laughed when we realised what we were doing. But you started again, you closed the curtains and we never stopped.

We almost died too soon. We were fifteen years old and we were a bit stupid. We thought we were superior and inaccessible from death because we were animagi, we were intelligent, we believed we could defeated all, we believed the world was at our feet, we believed the sea would separate for us… So, like we loved to do, we challenged each other, and I can't remember which one of us had this stupid idea to try passing in the whomping willow hole without pushing on the root's knot -after reflexions, it was surely me, I was always the one who had bad ideas-, but, when I realised that without your reflexes, we both would be crush by the furious tree's branches, I understood we really should to slow down on the foolishness.

I left home too soon. We were sixteen years old and I finally fucked off my family. You told me I could come at your home if one day I couldn't handle it anymore, so that's what I did. I arrived at your door and I didn't even had to explain you what happened, you just smiled at me and embraced me. Your parents had been very comprehensive and I could spent the years installed in your bedroom. We often get out at night, traipsing in the street, bothering the neighbours by laughing out loud, shouting dumb songs at two AM, and, when we stayed in our room, chatting or playing stupid games, the light which came out from our window was always the last in the street to turn off. I think it was this year I realised I was in love with you, I never knew if it was requited, even just for one second, but at that time I didn't care, at that time I thought you would be mine forever, at that time I believed that even if I didn't tell it to you, it wouldn't change anything...

I lost you too soon. We were seventeen years old, and you announced me that you finally succeed to date Lily Evans. I didn't remember well but I think I stopped for a second and I congratulated you without really meaning it. I did knew it, that you loved her, I always knew it, but I prefered hid it from myself. So I accepted, I shut myself up, and I observed your happiness, which slowly became mine as well.

We finished school too soon. We were eighteen years old and we just left Hogwarts. A knot in the throat, but the smile at our lips, our heart filled with nostalgy, we left our dormitory, our park, our whomping willow, our shrieking house, our common room, our childhood… And I was afraid of losing our moments, our friendship and all what we created together. But the following years proved me that I was wrong and our nights vigils in the common room changed into nights vigils at each others home, and our nocturnal getaway outside changed into night racing through the cities on my motorcycle, your arms around me, our laughs raising on the roads.

You got married too soon. We were nineteen years old and I was your best man. How I was happy when you asked me, I tightened you in my arms, I was delighted seeing that I still was the one who counted the most to you. It was a sunny day, we were all very well dressed, we all had a big smile, I watched you being happy, and I didn't care about the pinch in my heart which told me that it could have been me at your side, I only saw your happiness and nothing else mattered. At night, I did a speech and we all bursted out laughing at the memories of our first meeting, of the cigaret, of the whomping willow, of my life at your home, of the motorcycle… But, me, I laughed more than the others at the memories I shut up, and seeing the bright in your eyes, I knew you had laugh for them with me.

You became a dad too soon. We were twenty years old and I was his godfather. I was the first to come at the hospital, I was with you when Lily was giving birth, I held your hand all time long, I cried with you when I saw Harry, I laughed when I saw Lily frowning when I let out that I would tell him all our dumb trick, and you laughed along with me. I was one of the first to hold him in my arms, and I realised when you asked me to be his godfather that, despite your wife and your son you won't got rid of me that soon.

I came too late. You were twenty one years old. I realised too late who was the traitor, I rode my motorcycle too late, I pushed the gate who led to your home too late, I opened the door with my shivering hand way too late… You were here, lifeless, your face was expressionless and I collapsed near you, no tear flowed, no sound came out of my mouth, only my wide eyes and a shocked expression were tattooed on my face. My thought were tangled in my head and a ball taking all my body from my stomach to my neck, avoided my vocal cords to pronounce anything else than some "I love you", strangled by sobs who threatened to get out at any time. And, holding your inert body against me, I remembered this cigaret, this kiss, this first time, this whomping willow who almost killed us, these nights at your home, this happiness deeply ingrained on your face when you finally succeed to date Lily, this nights on my motorcycle, your wedding, Harry, and I told to myself that, maybe, finally, all of this happened too late. 

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Thanks for reading, it would be really nice of you letting a review to support the poor writer ( and translator ) that I am and who really need support !


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